Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Happy Birthday To Me!

When my grandmother was alive, she was the light in the room. The energy force that galvanized everyone from my great aunt & great uncle (her brother and sister) to my mother and her sister (my aunt) to all my cousins, my grandmother was the core and the center of our family. And she also knew how to have a good time. In the weeks and then the days leading up to her birthday, she'd loudly proclaim, "Happy Birthday To Me!" And it didn't even matter if it was someone else's birthday, we knew that if she was in the room it was going to be her birthday as well. She was really some kind of special.
This Saturday I will be turning 42 years old and I have begun to utter those words my grandmother did so may years ago. And remembering the celebration of life has brought me from a dark place. This weekend past, I learned that I was not selected as a semifinalist in the Supima Cotton Runway Competition. And it really did thrust me into a tailspin of disappointment. I was confident that the universe had provided this opportunity to circumvent the defeat my business partners and I experienced with our poor showing during Market Week. This kind of recovery would have been validating by reminding me that I am headed in the right direction. It would have confirmed my gut instinct that it is kismet for me to design cocktail dresses. After all, I thought my audition went rather well. The judges seemed to like my work and my particular kind of pizazz. So it was a crushing blow when the 12 semifinalists were announced and there was no Wilbur on the list. But now, I have learned that I must, more than ever, encourage myself. It's not easy. In fact, there are moments when the demons of self-doubt and self-worth attack me. And I question if my odyssey is just some vain attempt to distance myself from the modest and my talent is only mediocre at best. But I just keep trying to move forward because I know the answers to my questions, whether they are favorable or not, are coming. With each birthday I learn more about fortitude and accepting defeat of the smaller battles with grace. And it is truly cause to celebrate. Because I know more today than I did yesterday. Happy Birthday to me!
Peace & Fashion!

2 comments:

  1. Well brother, as often as it seems that the world will not recognize Wilbur and all his talent, you must remember one thing. You are living your dream. Mommie always taught us to do what makes us happy and if we can make money from it - wonderful! You are doing just what makes you happy. You are creative, brilliant and handsome to boot! And Sorta Kinda Enterprises, LLC is the force that is going to make the money from your happiness. So keep pushin'. God will make it happen.

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  2. Sounds like you had a great birthday weekend.
    Shout out to Lloyd and Fam for doing a great job. Love you and Miss you.
    OH "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME" (smile)

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