Don't Dismiss Me

A tense moment for me on "24 Hour Catwalk"

Early this morning on facebook, one of my supporters who happens to be a curvy girl, make up artist, and fellow entrepreneuer, posted something that made me stop and take pause.  She wrote, "I love being overlooked.  It makes me work harder."  I thought to myself, "Kelly Brown, you must be crazy!!"  After many years, 15 to be exact, of toiling in virtual obscurity, I am tired of being overlooked.  Truth be told, I'm tired of working harder.  I want my gifts and talents recognized by somebody who is in a position of affluence and influence so that my load can be lessened.  I want financial success to stop being so darn elusive.  So, of course, I had to comment.  After carefully weighing my words, I typed, "I intensely dislike being overlooked.  Ignored.  Sends a message that I have little or no value." I thought that would be the end of it.  I thought I could get on with the rest of my day basking in my glum.  Boy was I wrong!  Kelly B quickly responded, "Wilbur Pack, Jr. it has the opposite effect on me.  I don't take it as me having little or no value, I take it as someone not having the clarity to see the great value I know I have! take it in stride and go harder - it usually ends up in those who overlooked you regretting that they did!"

Kelly Brown

The universe has a way of sending just the right message at just the right time.  Kelly Brown delivered that message because I needed it.  Although I continue to move forward, there are moments when I falter and I just want to feel sorry for myself.  Yet, I know it is an emotion that is too heavy to bear on this path.  If I am going to reach my pinnacle, I cannot let these kinds of feelings weigh me down.  Now, I am refocused and re-energized.  Look out world because I am coming through.  And all of you who dare to dismiss me, you may want to give it a second thought!  My name is VICTORY.  If you want to check out my girl Kelly Brown, check her out at MASQUEmag.

Peace & Fashion!

Check Yourself B4 You Wreck Yourself!

All the attention that I've been receiving as a result of my appearance on 24 Hour Catwalk has been validating.  Mind-blowing, in fact.  First, when the commercials began to air before my episode did and people were reaching out to me on Twitter and Facebook, it was very flattering.  I grinned excitedly.  Once the previews began to pop up on movie screens in multiplexes everywhere and everybody from my LinkedIN connections to people I know through the plantation started to hit me up, it became so surreal.

Since I taped the show almost 6 months ago, I hoped that my "fans" would not be disappointed with my showing.  But what was done was done.  There just was no use tripping on it now. So I watched, just like everybody else, to see how the editors would make me look and what the episode's final outcome was.  There has still been an outpouring of compliments and congrats.  And I am so appreciative.  But I have also received an email that made the devil rise up inside of me.  It might have been easier to ignore it, but I felt the sender deserved a tailor-made response. Below is the original email followed by my response.  What do you think?

You can't be serious. I saw you on Lifetime and came to your site to see your line. It looks like the stuff you see at Torrid and Lane Bryant. I am so disappointed. I am a tall, athletic (yes I work out) plus size woman.  Size 18. And, I can't find a grown up, sexy dress for a 42 year old. I want to wear dresses like the real housewives of Atlanta. Is there a real "plus" size designer anywhere? Plus size doesn't mean bigger ugly. The clothes still need to be fashion forward and pretty.

Greetings ------,

My business partners and I are in receipt of your email and have carefully reviewed it. While I can certainly understand your frustration with finding "grown up, sexy dresses" for your "athletic" PLUS size frame, I take issue with your approach. Perhaps you were having a bad day when you sent the email, as I've had a few of my own a time or two. But there really is no excuse for your bad manners and poor email etiquette. If there is nothing to your liking on the company site, the more polite, dare I say, adult, thing to do would have been to dismiss us as another plus size design company who just cannot get it right. But your slam against my designs was really unnecessary. Since I am 44, it is clear we are from the same generation, but my parents taught me not to comment at all if I didn't have anything constructive or nice to say. In light of my mother's advice, I am going to end this response now. I hope you are able to find a designer who does PLUS size clothing suited for you that looks like something from "The Housewives of Atlanta".

Peace & Fashion!

Wilbur E Pack, Jr.

Designer/Principal

SK WiLBUR/Sorta Kinda Enterprises, LLC

We need to think about what we say and what we write to people because we just don't know the kind of effect it's going to have on them.  As my friend Deborah G. told me many years ago, "Words have power."   If I was teetering on the brink of a psychotic break, this email might have pushed me over the edge.  I might have even gone postal on the sender.  Please try to remember, nasty and rude behavior is uncalled for and never in style.

 

Peace & Fashion!

Reality Show Update!

Yesterday, one of my favorite bloggers, Alissa Wilson of Stylish Curves, tagged me in a post on Twitter.  Of course I had to check out what my curvy friend was saying because it's not every day that I receive Twitter love.  To my surprise, she had spotted the new teaser for the reality show I taped this past summer.

The Judges & Host
of
24 HOUR CATWALK

24 Hour Catwalk is set to start airing next month on Lifetime on January 10, 2012 at 10 p.m.  Get ready to park yourselves in front of the television or set your DVRs because I don't want you to miss any of the fashion drama unfold.  And I want to get lots of feedback.  It's going to be INSANE!

Just in case you are not on Facebook or don't follow me on Twitter, click on the link below to get a sneak peek at my reality show debut.  Enjoy!

24 HOUR CATWALK

Peace & Fashion!

'Tis the Season

I have had my butt in the streets after work every night this week.  Maybe I am making up for my grueling, vacation-less summer.  But I am just going to blame it on the holidays and enjoy it while I can.

Playwright & Poet VINCENT TORO

On this Monday past,  I was invited by my longtime friend, Grisel, to a reading of her husband's play at Repertorio Espanol.  21, by Vincent Toro, is a slice of modern American life from the Puerto Rican perspective.  It tells the story of Blackjack, a very earnest recent college graduate who feels alienated by his colorful family so he makes plans to  accept a journalism job in Turkey.  This four character play is well crafted and well developed sprinkled with plenty of laughs and some poignant moments as well.  Vincent, whose play is one of seven chosen for the Metlife Nuestras Voces Playwriting competition, writes in a clear voice.  While 21 has a definitive Hispanic point of view, its themes of family, career, and forgiveness speak to all of us no matter our ethnicity.  Be on the lookout for Vincent's rising star.

Marc Morial
head of the Nat'l Urban League

Michelle Miller
CBS News Correspondent

Jacque Reid

Last night, I was invited by my very dear friend, Sheila Rule, to join her for a reception hosted by her friends Michelle Miller, the CBS News correspondent, and her husband Marc Morial, president of The National Urban League and former mayor of New Orleans.  Held at new haute spot, Gravy, it soon became packed with a long list of New York City's Black Glitterati.  The liquor flowed and scrumptious treats were passed around all night long.  When I came face-to-face with Jacque Reid at the bar, I pointed and yelled, "Are you Jacque?!"  I mostly remember her as the lead anchor on BET Nightly News, but she has been suggested as someone I should friend on Facebook as well.  Since I did not know her personally, I never did.  This was my chance to make an impression.  And I guess I did because we laughed raucously over my approach.  I guess now we really can start up a virtual friendship.

After two late nights in the city, I am happy to be home early watching a little mindless television.  But I've got more celebrating to do before 2012 comes roaring in.  'Tis the season.

Peace & Fashion!

I'm Ready!

Yesterday I signed the confidentiality agreement for the reality show that I will be competing on.  That means I cannot talk or write about it.  But I will confess that I am a little nervous about it.  And I think that is healthy and to be expected.  I have decided to focus more on doing well and enjoying the experience instead of winning.  After seven years of auditioning for different reality shows, I am finally getting my big break.  So I already consider myself a winner.  But being crowned king of the competition would be nice, too.

The JET magazine article has brought me a lot of attention from my darker hued sisters around the country.  The number of people who "like" my company facebook page has increased by 125 in the last week.  I have received tons of accolades from several women who have thanked me for "caring about them."  Those comments made me smile, but brought tears to my eyes because they really validated my journey.  We have also received a dozen or more emails asking about the availability of the line and how to buy the dresses.  I've had to explain that retail has not caught up to me yet, but I believe that I can use this demand as leverage with store buyers.  Let the negotiations begin!

In the meantime, I am still running around pulling together all the elements for the runway show on September 13.  I am tired, but there is much work to do.  The moment I've been praying for for the last 13 years is finally here.  And I am so ready.

Peace & Fashion!

The Bridge Is Out

Yesterday I noticed that there is a serious divide going on in fashion.  I think I've always known it, but it became more evident as my day progressed.  Plus size is still fashion's ignored stepchild.  Despite the 62% of women who are a size 14 and above, it seems like the chasm may be permanent.  My fashion mogul friend and founder of Full-Figured Fashion Week, Gwen DeVoe, pretty much tried to convince me while we were laughing and chatting over cocktails a few weeks ago. "Wilbur, the big boys still have not invited me to the table," she said explaining that high fashion is an exclusive club reserved for the fabulously skinny.  Sporting my rose-colored glasses, I really didn't want to believe her.  After all, I have received so much attention for my creative efforts concerning the curvy woman.  Just to name a few recent gains by the curvy community - -  during New York Fashion Week this past September, One Stop Plus staged the first runway show dedicated solely to contemporary fashions for the curvy woman.  Clingy and sexy dress designer, Monif C. recently celebrated her fifth year in business.  And big girls continue to make "special" appearances in mainstream magazines.  But so many people don't want to embrace the curvy.  A couple of weeks ago when I was in Re/dress, the Brooklyn-based destination emporium for all things vintage for the curvy woman, I met a lovely young lady named Jessica.  Jessica and I fell into a deep conversation like we'd been forever friends when she confessed to me that she had recently gone down to a size 14 from a size 24.  And she shared something with me that has stayed on my mind since.  Jessica thinks clothing manufacturers do not put a lot of effort or style into plus fashions because most women consider the weight temporary and are always striving to become a more socially acceptable size 6 or 8.  Hello Oprah!  I immediately disagreed with her because if that is the case then my career choice is a big mistake.  But maybe there is a little truth to it?  Yesterday afternoon I met with the buyer at Bloomingdale's.  I felt empowered by the many women whom I have met online and in person who have asked me when and where they'll be able to buy my dresses.  So I carefully pulled out each of my confections explaining how we could accommodate her customer by adding sleeves or changing colors and fabrication.  I explained to her that the customer wants to celebrate her curves and is looking for pieces that caress her curves, not tent-like frocks that do nothing for her shape.  "She wants more fashion," I added.  I informed her that I have over 500 followers on facebook.  I write a blog that goes out to about 250 readers.  And we maintain a website as well. When she calculated the retail price of one of my dresses, she thought it was a bit pricey for the Bloomingdale's customer.  I assured her that the Bloomingdale's customer is not resistant to price if she is getting value and fashion.  She told me that she'd never seen a line like mine before - a statement I found a little ambiguous to be sure. When I left that meeting, the buyer said that she was unwilling to change the status quo and add a new designer to her mix of vendors for now.  I was disappointed as I walked to Bloomingdale's to inform the sales team who had been so supportive over the last couple of months.  As I rode the escalator up to the 3rd floor, I saw a lot of fashion happening in other departments that were bustling.  In the women's department it was quiet and overflowing with a lot of the same clothes by the same vendors like Jones New York that are found in other stores such as Lord & Taylor and Macy's.  So although I am on the front lines talking to the customer doing my best to accommodate her fashion and style needs, she's losing in the long run. The message that is being conveyed is that because she's bigger, her access to more fashionable items should and will be limited.

Later in the evening, I had the opportunity to attend the book signing of WWD@100 at Bergdorf Goodman.  Populated by fashion industry superstars, my model Dee Dee and I along with Ashanti were a breath of plus size freshness.  And we did get snapped by one of the evening's photographers.  But Dee Dee commented that the atmosphere was very "clique-ish".  I am not sure how to infiltrate the fashion cognoscenti's sphere of fabulousness, but I am looking to build a bridge so that plus-size fashion is no longer an oxymoron.

Peace & Fashion!

2010

As a new year approaches, I always make an assessment of my life. Where am I as a human being? As a fashion designer? What happened this past year that I am proud of and what can I do to improve my life and perhaps the lives of others? I thank God that I am still blessed to be able to pursue my goals and for the wonderful people that support me, challenge me, and propel me forward.

2009 was a year of a few firsts for me. I threw caution to the wind and made the decision to design a line of cocktail dresses. I'd wanted to do a line of more tailored and sexy looks for a little while now. But with things being the way that they are and it being difficult to break into a market crowded with well-known names and faces, I had put that part of my dream on hold. I was informed by an industry expert that what I really wanted to do accounted for less than 20% of consumer dollars and made more sense for me to turn my energies toward a line of tops for the young contemporary/junior market. There it would be less difficult to get my big fashion break. But it never took off the way my business partners and I had hoped. I have not yet found anyone willing to invest in my line of deliciously vibrant, rainbow-hued tops or my brilliant business model to sell them online to digitally astute young women between the ages of 15 & 22. After all, this is where they socialize (twitter anyone?) and share (facebook) and learn (wikipedia). I've gotten far more interest with the dresses than I did with the tops. Experts be damned!

I also started writing this online diary, at the urging of Ashanti & Serosh, my two fashion partners in crime. They felt like people would want to hear more from the man behind the seams. "What you have to say is important," is what they tried to convince me of. I always feel like such a small fish in a big pond in the fashion game and that's probably never going to change. But this blog has given me a voice to share the good times and some of the bad. I've been able to release some of the bad just by sharing it with you. And you've read that so many factors come into play with this industry defined by glamour, smoke & mirrors, and ego. By now you've learned that I am an eternal optimist and feel like my proverbial ship will definitely come in. My entire being feels so connected to this journey and I know the universe will provide the answers to all of my questions. I just have to keep doing what I do so that I can get to where I am supposed to be.

With each collection under my belt, I become more and more confident in my creativity. As I look back and see my growth as a designer, I wonder to myself how I got to this place. I've evolved beyond my own expectations and I know I've got more growing and more learning to do. It is my wish for 2010 that all of you accompany me on this odyssey, every small step of the way, and celebrate my evolution and my maturity. Hey, you may even learn something new about yourself in the process. So Happy New Year and Welcome to 2010! It's going to be great!

Peace & Fashion!

Fashion Stardust

You know, it's those little things that can make me feel like I really matter and that I am not completely overlooked. A few months ago, my partners in crimes of fashion, Ashanti & Serosh, convinced me to write a blog. Originally, Ashanti was the author of her own online diary. I was convinced that people would really respond to her, particularly women. You know, Girl Power! and all that. But A & S persuaded me that more people wanted to hear from the man behind the seams, so to speak. And now here I am probably sharing more than I normally would or should. I guess since President Obama has taken a vow of transparency, I sort of adopted the vow, too. And it is quite cathartic. But sometimes I feel like I am starring in some really bad reality show that is about to get cancelled because nobody's watching. Only it is my life.

While many times I feel like the kid in the lunch room who is not worthy enough to sit with the cool kids, every so often I get invited to the table. This week I made a concerted effort to reach out to designer extraordinaire Eric Gaskins. I wrote about him last week (http://iamfabulous-ablackfashiondudesodyssey.blogspot.com/2009/07/what-if.htmlablackfashiondudesodyssey.blogspot.com/2009/07/what-if.html) and thought we shared some loose similarities. The idea of finding a potential friend in a seventh avenue alum excited me. Maybe he's not a hang out buddy, per se, but I welcomed forming an alliance with him as my new online confidant. After posting a response to his blog and not receiving an acknowledgement, I decided to search him on FaceBook. I found him! I quickly invited him to be my facebook friend and wrote effusively about how much I loved the blog. Within minutes, I received a response from him. It read: "I'm glad you like the blog. Thanks for letting me know. E" Wow! I am cool by association. I can now apply for membership as a fashion insider. It doesn't matter that he didn't accept my friend invitation. And it certainly doesn't matter that he did not respond when I followed up with a link to the blog post I wrote about him. I am not really sure what I expected. Perhaps he thought I was a bit stalker-ish? But it's all good! Whatever that means. I have been sprinkled with the fashion stardust. And I know it's only a matter of time before Ralph Lauren and I are discussing his vintage car collection over an exceptional bottle of bordeaux.

Peace & Fashion!

Casting A Fashionable Net

Let's face it. It's a new age. Now more than ever it's not about what you know, but who you know. And you better make some awesome connections if you want to get ahead. As my friend Chris reiterates often, "Make your net work for you." I think he heard it on a commercial some time ago, but whoever coined the phrase has definitely got it right. So how does a fashion designer with talent to spare (so modest!), but not a lot of cash make his "net work for him"? I am on every networking site possible including, but not limited to, Myspace, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Fast Pitch. I am out there engaged in conversation with any fashion and finance professional who will listen. I write a blog, for chrissakes! So why isn't my net working? I've heard this theory of 6 degrees of separation. And I think it is so true. I've even met Kevin Bacon! But seriously, I don't think the people in my net are talking me up. So I am asking all of you who still read this to pass the word on. Have you read the title lately?! I really am FABULOUS. I guarantee you that there is somebody that you know who knows somebody who may know somebody that wants to invest in a bright, witty black fashion designer from Queens who is humbled everyday by his odyssey. Just cast your net and see what happens.

Peace & Fashion!