A Year Later

My 45th birthday was a washout - LITERALLY.  Hurricane Sandy had decimated NYC and brought my beloved city to it's knees.   Even now, a year later, families are still displaced and homes remain uninhabitable.  Personally and professionally, my own perfect storm had wreaked havoc on my life.  I was so far in debt that I could not even see my way out of it.  And that made me question whether my fifteen year pursuit of my fashion design dream was really worth it.  There had been no balance in my life for quite some time.  All I did was work.  I had become so absorbed with "making it work" that I had little time to enjoy life's little pleasures.  As a result, I ate all my problems away and gained so much weight.  When I looked in the mirror, I didn't even recognize the joyless, fat person staring back at me.  It was Sandy that stopped me in my tracks and made me reconsider the things that really mattered.  On my birthday, in my home where I was left with no heat or electricity, I contemplated all those things and made the hard decision to forego my apparel design pursuits.  I was angry with the universe for not providing me with the opportunities necessary to become a financial success.  And I was angry with the curvy women who seemed to love what I did, but did not demonstrate their support of me monetarily.  But things always have a way of working out.

A year later, I am triumphant.  When my sister gave me a Handbag Workshop Class at a local college as a birthday gift last year, it opened my eyes to other options in design.  Now I am actually selling purses to women in Tennessee, California, and as far away as Oslo, Norway.  I finally feel validated in my design pursuits.  My bags are also being carried in two New York City stores.  I have lost 30 lbs. since my birthday last year.  And my partner of fifteen years who has supported me and loved me through the great and the not-so-great times married me earlier this year in a small, yet magical ceremony.  A year later, I feel like I am back on track.  I feel centered, more focused.  I love what I do.   Women actually demonstrate that they love what I do when they make a purchase and that really makes me feel good.  And I am taking time to enjoy the simple things again like time with family and friends, seeing museum and gallery exhibits, and exploring the city that I love so much.  So Happy 46th Birthday to me!  Sure, I could complain about some things, but I won't because I remember what last year was like.  And life is so much better now.

 

Peace & Fashion!

My Road To Recovery

Birthday Cake in the dark after SANDY

Last year, my birthday was a catalyst for my Perfect Storm.  On October 31, I turned forty-five - a blessing, to be sure.  My family survived Hurricane Sandy with only a loss of power that lasted five days.  Compared to so many families who lost their homes, it was just a minor inconvenience.  For the most part, I came through the storm unscathed.  It, however, became a moment of introspection and re-evaluation.  I began to question my commitment to my fashion design career.  I'd eaten my way through frustration and disappointment reaching an all-time high of 245 lbs.  I was not being supported for my hard work and dedication by the full-figured women who claimed to love my aesthetic.  And, worse, joy was missing from my life.  After fifteen years of hard work and little monetary reward, I was burnt out.  It was crucial for me to make some changes in my life.   Angry with God, I made the difficult decision to turn my back on apparel.

The Large Cambodia Camouflage Clutch

There is that overused cliche, "It is always darkest before the dawn."  But it seemed to apply to my life as I was about to move in another brighter direction.  Around my birthday, my sister sent me an email about a day-long Handbag Workshop that was being offered at LIM College.  "I'll send you for your birthday, if you are interested, " she wrote.  "Of course," was my response.  My shapeless future took shape in that room filled with dozens of other handbag designer wannabes.

Earlier last year, two women who I work with had already confided in me that they thought I needed to focus on handbags.  They thought my designs were fun and would find a supportive audience.  I am oftentimes open about people's suggestions and this moment was no different.  But I did take a wait and see attitude.  Could they have seen something that I was not able to see myself?  There was a confluence of other episodes that led me to believe that, perhaps, the universe was moving me forward to the next chapter in my life.  Many times I've said that having the ability to design is a gift and I need to honor my gift at all times because it is not one that is given freely.  So I have fully embraced handbag design.

On Monday, February 25, www.skwilbur.com will be updated with the handbag designs that my business partners and I are selling.  Starting off small, we are offering two clutch styles in four different colorways.  We are also giving women an opportunity to special order other colors of their choosing.  We're hoping to finally secure retail orders, as well.  Making progress is a process and I am always in a learning curve.  Yet, I am feeling  positive about what the future holds.  Sometimes you've got to take a step back to move forward.  And when those orders start to come in, I will feel validated and fully recovered.

Peace & Fashion!

SANDY-fied!

My birthday comes each year like clockwork.  And it’s impossible to forget because stores stock up on candy for trick-or-treaters and costumes and all kinds of ghoulish decorations.  I’ve become very adept at fooling myself that everybody is really celebrating me, after all, it does seem only natural and super fabulous that I was born on Halloween.

John Legend flanked by my honey & me

This year my celebrating began last Saturday, when my honey and I were fortunate enough to get complimentary tickets to attend the John Legend concert at the Borgata in Atlantic City.  This was something a little different and quite extraordinary.  I hadn’t been to Atlantic City in over a decade when my honey surprised me with Johnny Mathis tickets.  So let the festivities BEGIN!  The only problem was that an uninvited guest named Sandy was threatening to ruin everything.  As I tweeted updates of every step of my adventure beginning at Port Authority where we were being whisked away by Academy Bus Co. to our destination, friends and family began to leave posts on my Facebook page warning me, “They’re shutting down Atlantic City!  Sandy is coming!”  Once I was assured by David L. who had procured the tickets for me +1 that John (we’re on a first name basis!) was still going on as scheduled, I took an I DARE YOU, SANDY attitude.  John was awesome and so was his opening act Leah Smith.  And as an added bonus, so was hanging out with him backstage after the show!  But my devil-may-care attitude was short lived, because Atlantic City was being shut down at 4 p.m. the next day.  Although I’d heard all the weather predictions about this “Frankenstorm”, I was not a believer.  “Kiss my ASSETS, Sandy!” I’d seen New Yorkers in a panic with Irene and I was so not buying into the mass hysteria.  But just to be on the safe side, my honey and I were safely back home in NYC by 2:30 Sunday afternoon!

Clearly, Sandy was intent on showing me a thing or two because she wreaked complete and utter havoc.  Homes and communities and Roller Coasters have been destroyed.  A friend of mine who didn’t even live in an evacuation zone almost perished when water rushed into her apartment threatening to drown her.  She lost all her worldly possessions.  Luckily, she got away with her life.  And as I write this in the dark, I am waiting for Con Ed to restore electricity to my block after power was shut down due to sparking wires.  Sandy definitely won out this time.  My celebration was seriously curtailed.  And yet I remain grateful for another birthday and another breath.  Things could have been so much worse.

Peace & Fashion!