Sometimes I struggle with what I am going to write in my online journal. Someone in PR once told me that I should not share too many of my doubts. She reasoned that potential collaborators/investors would be turned off by my transparency and seeming lack of confidence. She said, "Investors are confident in people who are confident in themselves." She's probably right. But the truth is that self-doubt is just par for the course when you are in a creative field. I've spoken to writers, filmmakers, painters, singers, and, of course, other designers and we all suffer with bouts of self-doubt. There are actually many similarities in our approaches to attaining success. But what strikes me most is that we are all bold and confident enough to put our creativity out there for the world to judge. I think transparency can be very liberating. It demonstrates that my struggles and imperfections are no different than yours and that is unifying. It also lends me a certain approachability.
|Oscar Dela Hoya vs. Floyd Mayweather|
I mean, I'd like to be able to consistently create a minimum of two collections a year without worrying about how I am going to afford fabrics and the costs of construction. And I wish I could mass produce without fretting over finances and wondering how I am going to turn a dime into a dollar and a dollar into twenty-five thousand dollars. But in the end, I don't let the odds against me prevent me from dreaming and pushing forward.
Last week, I finally accepted that I would not be able to actively participate in New York Fashion Week which officially begins on September 6th. And I learned that I was not one of the twelve recipients of the Mission: Small Business Grant from Chase Bank. Back in June, many of you voted so that I would be considered. It's a bummer to have to sit out this fashion week, but there is still a Spring collection that must be completed and you better believe that I have already started preparing for Fashion Week February 2013. And I just know the finances to fuel my vision will come from somewhere.
Do not judge me based on my bouts with self-doubt. Save the judgements for how I am able to weather those moments and keep it moving. With fifteen years under my belt, it is clear that I am a survivor. And I am a winner.
Peace & Fashion!