I have always held myself to an incredibly high standard. My feeling is: If I'm not going to do my absolute best, then there is no point in me doing it at all. Yet, lately, despite my best efforts, I feel like I am falling short. I have promised to write in my online journal regularly, but I have not. It is with the best intentions that I start my week promising to get back to my exercise regimen and start eating right so I can drop some of these unwanted pounds, but I have not committed to climbing out of bed at 4 a.m. so I can get to the gym before I head for the plantation. And by the middle of the day, I am so frustrated that I just want to head over to Dunkin' Donuts and buy a half dozen of those chocolate glazed cake donuts. And at 320 calories a pop, that kind of behavior is just really counterproductive - to say the least.
The truth of the matter is that I have just not been motivated. With the holidays here and me trying desperately to stretch my dollars to make sure that there are gifts under the tree for my loved ones, I have become increasingly disgusted by my financial situation. And I do not want to pour that kind of energy into this blog. Earlier this year I wrote that I was only giving myself one more year to make a go out of Sorta Kinda Enterprises. And after the less-than-stellar reception by retailers of my spring collection, I am feeling disconnected from my dream and beginning to wonder if this may very well be the end of an era that was filled with some triumphs, but mostly struggles. I have almost always felt certain about my path in fashion - like the universe had called me to this career. And although I have not yet counted myself out, I cannot help but start to wonder after 12 years if I have been on some crazy vanity ride. I told my sister, Ashanti, who is also one of my partners in fashion crime that I have been put in a place of total surrender. In the past, I have done everything outside of magic tricks to keep up the momentum of getting the Wilbur brand off the ground. Any one who has known me during the last decade and change, knows that it's the truth. But at this point, the well has run dry of all resources. So as my church folks say, "I've got to let go and let God." To that end, we are working with Nakeisha Jennings of Prime Planners who does brand building and raises money through corporate sponsorships. She has quite a Rolodex at her fingertips and I am praying that she is the key to finishing and presenting my fall 2011 collection "Eye Candy" this coming March.
|Wilbur & Kitty Kat are all smiles at the wedding reception of A & R|
My dream has sustained me all these years. Fashion saved me from a life without purpose. And whatever the outcome, I know that there is something better around the bend. I am wishing all my readers a very Merry Christmas and a healthy and prosperous New Year. I am going to take a moment and revitalize my spirit and try to refresh myself so that I can be better prepared for this part of my fashion crusade. See you in 2011!
Peace & Fashion!